If you are prevented, for whatever reason, from attending either the funeral or memorial service, you may be able to take some time to pause around the time of the service. You could light a candle or burn incense at home, and use the time to reflect on the person’s life. You might like to look at photographs or videos of the person, or to share some of their favourite food, or perhaps to visit a place that was familiar to them.
Whatever you do, you may want to read some words that have brought comfort to others in times of sadness. (A selection of readings are available here; many others are available online.) You may find it helpful to be with someone you trust, to support you at the time of the funeral. If you practise a religion, your faith leader may be willing to suggest some words to read or they may even be willing to join you during this time and possibly pray with you or give you a blessing.